AFRAID BABY WILL “RUIN” YOUR BIZ?

Q: I’m in the pre-pregnancy stages of growing my family and I’m freaking out about it “ruining” my business. Which episodes do you recommend I start with on your podcast?

A: Thanks so much for sending this Q over. SO many women have the same fear. I’m saving the response below to share in the Playground for those who just haven’t voiced it yet! ❤️

My friend Denise DT says “babies bring abundance,” and really that just highlights that this is all in how you frame it for YOU. She’s on episode 10 – naptimeempires.com/010

I don’t have an ep that speaks directly to this, but you’re inspiring it right now. The approach below is inspired by the work of John Demartini, Dr. Shefali Tsabary, and my boys. ❤️

Any time you’re stuck in feeling like something will either be a total DREAM or a total NIGHTMARE, it’s only bc you’re seeing half the picture. Truth is that there are (at least!) two sides to everything. Benefits and drawbacks, always.

Sounds like you can see the drawbacks pretty clearly (hence the fear), so you need to take time and look at what the (very real!) benefits could be.

Once you’ve got a good objective (as possible) look, you can more clearly and confidently decide if you do really want to be a mom. (May go without saying, but your choice is valid no matter which path you take.)

What do you value most in life right now? Sounds like biz is high up there.

How would becoming a mom benefit you as it relates to your highest values, specifically your biz?

Don’t just leave this in your head – actually write down benefits. (More on this in naptimeempires.com/054)

Here are some examples from my experience – some are biz, some are lifey, but my work revolves around identity and the intersection of parenthood + entrepreneurship, sooo it actually all connects. ha

DRAWBACKS

Kiddos require resources like time, money, energy, attention, etc. Sounds like you understand that part well. 😛

BENNIES

THEY’RE SO FREAKING CUTE and really great snuggle buddies.

My kiddos model (and remind me of the power of) play, resilience, curiosity, imagination, creativity.

They make me laugh.

They help me see / feel what unconditional love looks like (ie when they flip out and I love them anyway I can see that I TOO am worthy of love even when I flip out).

They’re like accountability buddies in taking breaks to tend to my physical needs (they won’t forget when it’s lunchtime like I can when I’m in the zone).

They are like human pomodoro timers, inspiring me to get more done in less time.

I love my husband even more now that I see him in the dad role. He’s amazing with them.

They spark content ideas for DAYS (actual years and lifetimes. ha).

I value connection and they are all about it (at least in this phase of life!).

I regularly say things to them that *I* need to hear. mirror mirror.

They bring a fresh perspective to life / help me think about things from a different POV.

They inspire me to know / be / love MYSELF as much as possible so that THEY will grow up feeling safe (+ equipped!) to do the same.

More context: My personal choice to start our baby journey back in 2011 was because I knew for sure I wanted to be a mom. A few years into our marriage, I realized that the sooner we had our kiddo(s), the more time we’d get to spend with them in this lifetime (math pro, I know).

I’m also very aware that in many cases this is not as simple as a “decision.” Fertility, pregnancy, parenting is a journey that can have all sorts of unanticipated turns. You’ve just gotta be clear (enough) that both the ups and downs are worth it to you.

So that’s my best reco.

If you’re ever feeling afraid of something, give this exercise a try. Find the benefits. They’re there.

Likewise if you’re ridiculously excited about something (OMG this is EVERYTHING vibes, which often lead to a hard crash to reality when actual challenges show up), proactively identify some drawbacks / potential challenges.

When you can figuratively stand on two feet and see BOTH sides of a scenario, you can defog your emotional windshield and empower yourself to make decisions that TRULY align with your highest values.

In other words, you’ll confidently welcome the challenges that come with WHATEVER you decide, because you’ll be CLEAR that the benefits are 100% worth it.

You can’t choose or “time” this wrong. ❤️