GOAL-SETTING ON HER TERMS™

re: how to set realistic work expectations for yourself and keep things moving forward without getting totally stressed out (or using all that as an excuse to not implement).

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For context: My oldest is 8.5. Started my biz seven years ago. Second is 4.5.

My vote: think about how you want to feel / show up for yourself, your fam, and your biz over the next few months and let THAT lead your timeline.

No need to announce public dates when you’re not feeling completely grounded and certain with them.

Definitely ways to build buzz and anticipation without committing to a timeline just yet.

Other related thoughts:

If you end up putting it off / it gets dragged out forever, it’s likely because it’s not really aligned with what you want and value right now… so that wouldn’t be a loss / “wrong.” It would just be evidence for you to reexamine what you THINK you’re “supposed” to be doing vs. what you actually want to be doing.

What I’ve learned about goal-setting and get-it-done-or-else-stress is that (di)stress is feedback to help us recalibrate the goals.

It’s like an intuitive alarm system to notify us of unrealistic expectations (and / or setting goals we don’t actually care about).

If we set goals that are way too ambitious for our current constraints, we’ll humble ourselves.

Overwhelm, frustration, resentment, procrastination…

If we set goals that are way too easy to attain, we’ll puff ourselves up (and likely set unrealistic ones next). Pride, elation, euphoria, etc.

The most challenging but most rewarding route is only setting goals around what we know FOR SURE we want… then breaking them into micro-milestones with super realistic timelines (with flex) based on the resources we actually have / are willing to invest – in terms of time, energy, money, support at home / with biz, etc.

Noting / anticipating challenges that WILL come up, making at least a loose plan of how we’ll handle ’em when they do, baking in time for the stuff we care about (health, fam, etc.).

It’s a dance and something I keep relearning / experimenting with as I go.

There are times when I’ve set public deadlines and chased ’em by whatever means necessary (even if my sleep took the hit). I am grateful for hustle-me and the momentum and assets she created in those times.

There are also times I’ve set public deadlines and then had to humble myself by letting my clients know X would NOT, in fact, be ready in time. Grateful for those too.

There are times I’ve been allergic to deadlines and have just created at my pace without letting ANYONE know what I was working on till it was basically ready for consumption.

The older and wiser I get, the less interested I am in rushing myself. I call it “Eff Management.” ha

I’m trusting divine timing and my human nature to be led by what I care about, figure out the rest as it comes.

By being super clear on my values, my lifestyle, my vision, it’s gotten a lot easier to set realistic expectations for myself and everyone else.

#onherterms living FTW.

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